Cops and Robbers
by Atlas Arrow
Summary: Before the launching of the Umbrella Academy, the Hargreeves children decide to play Cops and Robbers in the manor's grounds. Mayhem ensues. Kraken-centric.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: **__This story takes place before any of them had names, since it sounds like they were named around 12 and the story takes place when they're 9. Just in case you don't know their numbers;_

_.01: Spaceboy_

_.02: The Kraken_

_.03: The Rumor_

_.04: The Séance _

_.05: The Boy_

_.06: The Horror_

_.07: Vanya_

"I read about this game in a book," .01 said.

It was the only time that the Hargreeves children were outside the manor; recreation hour. At all other times they were kept strictly under lock and key. They figured this was normal for nine year olds. Currently they were all gathered around .01. .02 loitered on the edge of the crowd.

"What's it called?" .04 asked excitedly.

"Cops and Robbers," explained .01, "Basically there are two teams. One team is the cops and the other is the robbers. The cops try to capture the robbers by tagging them. If they're tagged then the robber has to go to jail. They can be freed if a member of their team tags them. It's called a jailbreak or something."

"Sounds kind of pointless," .05 frowned, "How do you win if the robbers can get out of jail?"

"Well," .01 continued, "If all the robbers aren't in jail at the end of recreation hour, then they win. And the other team wins if all of them are in jail. Besides, it'll be fun since we can do stuff other kids can't."

"Let me get this straight," .02 said, cleaning his nails with a steak knife, "This is going to take the **entire **hour?"

"You're not allowed to have that," .01 said disapprovingly.

.02 shrugged. To tell the truth recreation hour for him was generally spent trying to figure out which kitchen knife was easier to throw. So far he'd gotten stuck between the fish knife and the steak knife. He'd already liberated the steak knife and put up a few targets. He'd made plans to get the fish knife from later. That way he'd be able to figure it out that day. He couldn't do this if he was playing some sort of stupid game.

"I'll make it worth your while," said .01, turning back to the others, "Winning team gets the other team's chocolate cake!"

There was a murmur from the rest of them. During the rest of the week, dessert was generally an over-sweetened but weak-in-flavor pudding. Only on Wednesdays were they allowed the good dessert; the chocolate cake. Say what you would about the rest of the Academy food, the chocolate cake was heaven. The idea that they could get more was groundbreaking.

Not so for .02. This was pointed out by a rather smug .03.

".02 doesn't have his chocolate cake anymore," she said, "So one side would only get two pieces while the other would get three. That's not fair."

"Wow," .02 said, rolling his eyes, "You're a math genius. .05, you should really start getting lessons from her."

"Well you **don't **have your cake anymore," she insisted, turning red.

That was true. Sometime Tuesday morning he had accidentally stepped on one of .03's feet in the halls. She had started wailing loudly and saying that he'd done it on purpose. He'd insisted that he hadn't and she'd said that he had. So he'd pulled her hair to get her to shut up.

In hindsight that hadn't been very smart. Yet, it had **seemed **like a good idea at the time. It had actually been kind of funny. .06 and .05 had certainly thought so. Even .04 had had to stifle a giggle. Pogo wasn't so amused though. So in the end .02 had gotten his dessert taken away for the only night that he cared about.

"Don't worry," .01 said, "If he loses then he can give his chocolate cake to me next week. After all, we're going to be the captains."

Grimacing in disgust .02 glared at .01. Why did he have to be captain? Why did Space get to decide this in the first place? Besides, .02 wasn't exactly a team player. It wasn't like he wanted anyone to be on his team either. He either didn't like or wasn't close to any of them after all. .02 was about to point this out when .05 said;

"How come he's captain?"

"'cause we're the strongest," .01 announced confidently, "Now line up so we can pick teams."

"I'll give you something to pick," .02 muttered under his breath.

Now he didn't really have any choice. Reluctantly he trudged up besides .01.

"We've got an uneven number though," .05 pointed out.

"I'll referee!" volunteered .04.

.04 was always volunteering to referee. It was his way of trying to stay out of conflict. Coward.

"I'm the cops team!" .01 said, "So I get to pick first!"

.02 shot him an ugly glare. Once more, why did he get to pick first? Ignoring the look .02 was giving him he said;

".03!"

Tossing her hair .03 got up and stood by .01. She looked at him in an I'm-gonna-get-you type of way. He was tempted to pull her hair again. Instead he looked back at the rest of them. The logical choice would be to pick .05. As Hargreeves had rubbed it in several times a day, their numbers signified who was stronger. He was a devious little jerk too, which helped. Just as he was about to call it out, movement caught his eye.

.07 was standing down at the end of the line. She was looking at the ground and drawing circles with the toe of her mary-jane in the dirt. Upon closer inspection he could see that she was biting her lip and looking very much like she was trying to hold back tears. At first he wondered what her problem was. The game hadn't even started yet. Then it hit him.

In all the games that they had ever played, .07 had been picked last. Why shouldn't she have been though? She was the weakest. .07 didn't even have any powers to help her be fast, agile, or to even give her some sort of an extra edge. There was nothing that would save her from being the last kid.

Once or twice he'd heard violin music coming from her room. It had sounded kind of pretty. Every now and then he'd seen her reading. Of course, the only books that Hargreeves let them read were about Military history, so she couldn't be too terribly smart. In other words, she wouldn't be useful in a game. Apparently she knew that and was bracing herself to be the last kid standing there.

.02 was more then ready to get back at .01 for making him play this stupid game in the first place. For that he'd need a strong player like .05. Even .06 would do. Anything would be better then having the worthless player on his team. Yet…she just looked so darn pitiful standing there, tracing shapes with her shoe. Before he even knew what he was saying he called out;

".07!"

She looked up, slightly dazed. Out of the corner of his eye he could see a similar look coming from .01. He could've kicked himself. None the less, it wasn't like he could take it back.

"Are you coming?" he snapped, "Or are you just going to stand there?"

Still looking confused .07 scurried over and stood next to him.

"Your turn," .02 said to .01.

".05!" said .01.

Now there was only one choice left, but .02 said it anyway.

".06!"

.06 trotted next to .07 and beamed at her. It appeared that he really didn't mind being picked last, or being on the weaker team. Whoop-dee-doo for him. .02 could feel a studying look coming from .01. The moron probably thought that .02 had some sort of super-secret strategy up his sleeve. Oh, he wished.

"Jail's that pine tree over there," .01 said, pointing, "Got it .02?"

Everyone looked over at a very tall pine tree on the edge of the estate.

"I got it, I got it," snapped .02.

"You get five minutes head start," said .04 excitedly, "And that starts…now!"

Both .06 and .02 sprinted off in as far away from the tree as possible. .02 had barely gone nine yards before he realized that .07 wasn't with them. Looking behind him he saw that she was struggling to keep up. Sighing in frustration he went back and grabbed her arm before continuing. Now he was going to lose this week's **and **next week's chocolate cake. Crap.


	2. Chapter 2

"I think that one looks like a camel," .06 said, pointing at a cloud.

"You think they all look like camels," .02 snorted.

Hiding out on the roof had seemed like a pretty good idea at the time. .01 wouldn't look for them there. It was off limits and as .01 was an obedient child he wouldn't dream of going up there. Of course, since it was off limits that technically meant that .02 was cheating. However, he figured that he could get away with it. It wasn't like he had started capturing and tying up members of .01's team, which had been his original plan.

Scaling the drainpipe had caused some problems. .07 wasn't very good at anything requiring any form of physical activity, so they'd had to help her up. Or rather, .06 had had to help her up by grabbing her with one of his extra 'arms'. She'd looked uncomfortable and .02 couldn't blame her for that. .06's creature-from-another-dimension-arms were pretty gross.

In any case, once they had all gotten up there .02 had explained his plan. Essentially they would all hide out on the roof until it was over. Both of them had been a little disappointed that they weren't actually going to be **playing**. Tough luck. It wasn't like .02 was willing to do much work to win. He hadn't even wanted to play this stupid game in the first place.

The game had only been going for fifteen minutes when he realized bringing them up there was a terrible mistake. For one thing .06 wouldn't shut up about the stupid clouds. It wasn't like .02 had anything against cloud watching. It's just that after ten minutes of hearing .06's opinions on random clouds it got rather old.

Then there was the fact that .07 kept whimpering. That was worse then the cloud watching. Every single time he'd gotten himself comfortable against the concrete he'd hear a;

"Meep."

Then he would twitch and the illusion of comfort would be over. It was pretty constant too. If he'd had a watch he'd be tempted to set it on her. If he was right, then any minute now-

"Meep."

This was what happened when he tried to do something nice. Well, he'd learned his lesson. He would never, under any circumstances, do something nice for anyone again. All it led to was-

"Meep."

.02 gritted his teeth. It was actually getting to the point where he couldn't stand it any more. If he had to hear one more whimper then he was going to lose it. As Hargreeves had once commented; when he lost it, he lost it. Tensely he waited as the seconds ticked by. Any minute now she was going to whimper.

Surprisingly she didn't. .02 let himself relax. He couldn't believe that he'd let himself get so worked up about some stupid-

"Meep."

"THAT'S IT!" snapped .02 as he started to get to his feet.

.07 shrank away and .06 stopped cloud watching to stare at him.

"What's your problem?" he said.

"Your eye's twitching," pointed out .06 nervously.

"Noted!" .02 growled before turning back to .07, "What's up with the whimpering?"

Looking slightly scared .07 wrapped her arms around her knees.

"I…I…I'm…I'm afraid of heights," she said, blurting out the last part.

Eyebrows furrowing in confusion .02 said;

"Why didn't you say something **before **we got on the roof?"

"I…I was already slowing you down," she answered, "…and since you had this plan…I didn't want to mess it up for you."

This was great, just what he needed. Moaning slightly he buried his head in his hands. He was probably going to have to deal with this all game. Just peachy.

".02?" .06 said.

When the bulk of your plan consisted of hiding in a high place, you don't want to find out at the last minute that a member of your team is afraid of heights.

".02?"

That was the ultimate curveball, right there.

".02!?" shouted .06.

"What?" snapped .02, whipping around.

As soon as he saw what had gotten .06 panicked, he realized that he probably should've paid attention to his comments earlier. For, at the end of the roof with a triumphant grin, was .05.

"FOUND 'EM!" he bellowed.

Getting caught was **not **part of the plan. Still, if there was one thing that .02 knew how to do it was improvisation. Grabbing a tile from the roof he threw it at .05. As his brother moved to dodge it .02 yanked .07 to her feet.

"Run!" he yelled.

Later he would realize that yelling that was sort of redundant. After all, he was already pulling her along. Another thing that would later come to mind was that he didn't know where he was running too. .05 was guarding the drainpipe and .02 really couldn't remember any other way off the roof. Except-

"Head for the fire escape!"

Hargreeves had outlined the fire escape as a route to flee by in case of an extreme emergency. The word extreme came to mind because Hargreeves had only put it as the last case resort, the kind of resort that included an alien invasion. When .02, saw the fire escape, he saw why that was.

"That doesn't look safe," .06 said doubtfully.

Indeed it didn't. .02 had seen pictures of dilapidated mansions that were in better repair then the fire escape. Still, it was either that or surrender to .01.

"You go down first," he said to .07.

She looked at him indignantly.

"I'm not gonna be your guinea pig!"

"Just do it, okay!?" he snapped at her.

Still looking like she figured he was only letting her go down so she'd die, .07 put a tentative foot on the fire escape. When she saw that it supported her weight, she put another foot on it. Then she started down the steps slowly. .02 was about to follow her when he heard;

"I heard a rumor that roof tiles are extremely slippery."

It was at the precise moment that he started to slide down the roof that he realized just how much he hated .03. He wondered vaguely if .06 was having similar thoughts. Judging by the look on his face, he probably was. Coming to his senses .02 grasped for a handhold, but it appeared that it was too slippery.

As they reached the ledge, .02 realized that he was going to die. He wondered what his tombstone would say. He'd always figured it would be something like;

"Here lies .02, who was involved in a bizarre kitchenware accident."

That's what everyone had always told him it would be anyway. However, in light of recent events, it would probably be something like;

"Here lies .02, who didn't have the sense to not play Cops and Robbers."

As tombstone inscriptions went, that one wasn't so good. Still, it was better then falling off the roof or some normal death. Even that small consolation was taken from him though as he felt a hand grab his wrist. His descent stopped abruptly, and he felt himself being pulled up. Looking up he saw .01 smiling at him, one hand on his wrist and the other one on .06's.

"Tag," he said cheerfully.


	3. Chapter 3

"How're the losers?

.02 glared at .05's rather smug face. In the past fifteen minutes, he'd been taken off to jail along with his brother. .05 had been set up as a guard, a position that he didn't seem to be enjoying. .02 got the feeling from his attitude that he would rather be with .01 and .03 looking for the only member of his team that hadn't gotten captured; .07. Tough.

"You haven't got .07 yet," he pointed out, pleased that his words obviously irritated his brother, reminding him of the job he'd rather have," So we haven't lost."

"You think she can outmaneuver .03 and .01 for another fifteen minutes?" snorted .05, "The probability of that happening is zip. Fifteen minutes doesn't sound like much, but she can't run so she's probably hiding somewhere. Best you can hope for is a tie, which means you lost. Looks like you're putting your eggs in the wrong basket."

.06 looked at .02 in confusion.

"You don't have a basket."

"It means don't get your hopes up," snapped .05.

"Why didn't you just say that then?" .06 asked, frowning.

"You are such a moron," .05 said.

.06's eyes widened and .02 smirked.

"Oooooooooooooooh! You said a bad word!" he gasped in horror.

"That's not a bad word," .05 said angrily.

"Yes it is," insisted .06.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

"Is not!"

"Is to!"

It was at about that time that .02 started to wish that .07 would get captured just so he didn't have to listen to the two of them anymore. Then again, that would mean getting beaten by .01. He was still trying to figure out which was worse when he felt a faint tug on his sleeve.

Turning around he didn't see anything, at first. Then he saw a small form crouched only inches from him behind the tree.

".07?" he muttered, "What're you doing?"

"Jailbreak," she whispered, "Has he noticed me?"

Glancing back at .05 .02 saw that he was still arguing with .06 on whether or not moron was a bad word.

"Definitely not," he said quietly, "Looks like they're back in their own little world. Where're .01 and .03?"

"Gave 'em the slip," she said proudly.

"Good for you," grunted .02, "You got a plan to get us out of this? 'Cause I'm fresh out of ideas right now and if we don't have one then we're all just gonna get captured by .05 again."

"Well," she said nervously, "I can't quite reach .06 from here. But if I tag you, and then you can tie up .05 from behind. Then we can tag .06 and get out of here…right?"

Blinking slowly .02 stared at her. That actually sounded kind of like the plan he'd wanted to go with when the stupid game started. Moral of the story? Trust your instincts. He nodded briefly.

"Do you have any rope or anything?"

She nodded and unhooked the decorative belt that was part of her uniform.

"Will this work?" she asked.

"Perfect," he whispered.

"Now tag me."

Very quickly she shot out her hand, at the same time pressing the belt into his. With the same sense of haste .02 clambered to his feet. .05 hadn't even noticed that, he was still too engrossed in his argument. So it was pretty easy to tie up his hands and push him down. As he considered kicking him again for good measure .07 came out from behind the tree and tagged .06 free.

"You can't do that!" .05 said indignantly, struggling against his ties.

"Watch me," smirked .02, "But we can't have you calling out. So-"

Taking off his mask .02 shoved it into his mouth. The next few words .05 spoke were probably muffled insults. Smugly .02 high-fived .07.

"I think that's against the rules," .06 said, looking down at the struggling .05.

"Did .01 specifically say that we can't tie-up members of the opposite team?"

"Well, no-"

"Then it's okay," stated .02, "We're out of jail aren't we? How much time do we have left?"

"We've got eight more minutes," .06 sighed as he checked his watch.

"Alright then," grinned .02, "That's not that much, is it? Now we just need to get out of here before-"

"I told you she doubled back!"

Even without turning around .02 knew who that was. It appeared that .07's idea of giving the 'slip' left something to be desired. This time he didn't need to tell any of them to run. He still grabbed .07's arm though. The action was becoming a habit for him. Not that he had to drag her this time.

As he ran he risked a look over his shoulder. The other team hadn't bothered to untie .05 and had just chased after them. He wondered how he was taking that. .03, .01, and a hovering 04 were coming after them. .04 was probably glad to have some sort of action to referee. He'd have action too. They were gaining.

This wasn't surprising. .01 was probably faster then all of them combined, so outrunning them had never really been an option. If this was going to work out then they were going to need cover of **some **sort. Something big, kind of like-

"Why don't we head for the trees?" suggested .06 tentatively.

"Great idea," .02 said, but at the same time feeling a hint of unease.

Generally the Hargreeves children didn't play in the woods. They had used to rather frequently, until one day in winter. That day they had had a lesson in Botany where they had learned about things like Poison Ivy, stinging nettles, and thorns. Later during their zoology lesson they had learned about lions, tigers, and bears. During Geography they'd learned about climate change and how terrible and unpredictable the weather in wooded areas was. Needless to say, they never went near the forest again.

All of these thoughts were going through .02's mind. Going into the woods wasn't something that .02 felt entirely comfortable doing by a long shot. At the same time, it might serve to shake .01 off their tail. That was why, with fake gusto, he led them head first into the sanctuary of the trees.

When the first few steps didn't reveal any lions, tigers, or bears .02 breathed a sigh of relief. There weren't any other plants that looked like they could hurt them either. In fact, .02 was starting to wonder if everything they'd heard about the woods was fake. It just confirmed his belief that school was a waste of time.

Looking back he saw that .03 looked uncertain about going into the forest. .04 hovered uncertainly over her as if he didn't want to referee **that **badly .01 didn't have any scruples though.

"I heard a rumor tree branches 'round this time of year have a tendency to fall!" .03 cried after them, still looking like she didn't want to go in.

Several large branches fell from the trees overhead, blocking their path. One fell on .06. While it didn't look like he was hurt, he was certainly pinned. As he ran over to help him up, .02 tripped over a branch and fell on his face. Just great.

"Well…that was…a run…" .01 panted as he navigated easily through the branches, "You nearly got away there."

After all that work .02 was going to get tagged **again**? No way. .01 was close to him. He was going to have to move fast to get away. He doubted he could move at the speed of light though. That's what it looked like it was going to take to get away from his brother. .02 still had to try. Turning on his back he struggled to get up.

"Agh!"

Quizzically he looked over at .01. It appeared that while he had tried to get up, .07 had come up from behind .01 and kicked him in the shin. She backed away quickly as he fell to the floor.

"Why you little-" started .01 as he reached out.

"Recreation hour's over!" .04 yelled, "Dinner's soon!"

Apparently it turned out that .04 really had wanted to referee, and had also been meticulously watching the time. .01 glared up at him as though he suspected he was lying.

"Check and see if you don't believe me," shrugged .04.

Limping over to .04, he looked at his watch and checked the time. From the look on his face it appeared that .04 was telling the truth.

"We won," grinned .02.

Now it was his turn to be glared at. It appeared that .01 really didn't like losing. The glaring would last all through helping .06 out from under the tree and untying .05. It would also continue all the way back to the house and be shared by the rest of the losing team. Still, it was easily ignored. It looked like he was going to have chocolate cake after all.

Speaking of looking, out of the corner of his eye he saw .07 trotting behind him, looking pleased with herself. He felt like he should say something. He wasn't exactly team leader material, so it was easier said then done.

"Nice kicking back there," he managed with a grin.

Apparently that was good enough. She grinned back, and .02 got the feeling he'd be picking her for his team more often.


End file.
